Thursday, October 31, 2013

I am an idiot

I don't know why I did it, but I logged back into a de-activated Facebook account so I could see what my ex has been up to.  I'm so sick of dreaming about her and wondering about how she's doing.  I just can't let it go.

Why is it that now that we're not together she's started to have interest in all the things I wanted her to be interested in when we were together.  We could have had so much fun if we hadn't split.

I miss the emotional support of a relationship.  I am under so much stress lately from school and work and not having any time for fun or just to relax.  I lay in bed wishing that the pillow I'm clinging to was a warm body who would tell me I'm doing a great job keeping up with school and I'm working towards a better future and everything is going to be alright.  I have no one to count on for that.  i have no one to look into my eyes and tell me they love me, that they are proud of me, that they want me to succeed.

I haven't cried over the break up in months... but tonight, the tears fall like the rain outside...

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