Been seeing this woman casually and off and on for a few months. I'm not feeling it, but it's nice to have female company from time to time. No we're not fucking. I actually haven't even kissed her yet. We're in this weird perpetual first date thing. Since the break up, I've had a hard time opening up or getting attached to anyone or anything. She's very reserved and quiet to begin with. We laugh a little, we talk about things. It's just nice. It's simple. It's... safe.
Lately I've been trying to fill the void inside me by making new friends and banding together a small group of chum to take part in an extremely geeky activity. It's nice being able to hang out with people and just be myself. I enjoy my modeling hobby a lot and it's great I finally have people to share it with... but i feel like I'm just building a group of people around em to mask my emptiness inside. Like I'm just trying to fill a hole that can never be filled.
I'm a hot fucking mess.
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