Five Years Not Wasted

 I just recently got out of a five year relationship.  That is to say I was just booted out of a 5 year relationship.  I met her on Craigslist. She was everything I wanted.

For a while I was everything she thought she wanted.

She and I were engaged.  She promised to always be with me.  She left me for an albino, legally blind, middle-aged woman, who is divorced and has a toddler.  She said I didn't beat her enough.  Oh yeah, the albino is a dominatrix.

I don't get it.  She said she would have had a happy normal life if she stayed. A career, kids, a white picket fence, the whole thing.  She wants to be with multiple partners. Damn, can I pick them?

Why can't I find the right kind of crazy woman?